The Next Adventure

Hello again.

It's been quite a long time since I loaded up this blog hasn't it? To be perfectly honest I thought that it would be something that I would not update again, but seems that life has thrown me quite a few curve balls lately and I am going to use this as a place to write about that. It's mainly for self-preservation but if you'd like to come along for the ride then strap yourself in. 

Let's do this.

In my last blog post I'd just had my baby, Dylan. Well, Dylan has now transformed into the most hilarious, independent and gorgeus two-year-old ever - although I'm aware I'm pretty biased on that front. Where did my chunk of a baby go though? 

Here's the little monster in question:

As a small insight into Dylbert, his favourite words are currently "No", "Mine" and "Beebies" (for when he wants CBeebies on the TV) - so I think we've got this parenting thing sussed, right? Please note the sarcasm - I don't think anyone ever has parenting sussed, if they tell you that they do then they are a big fat liar. It's a bloody rollercoaster - you've just got to buckle yourself in, hold on tight and try not to get yourself covered in vomit. Or snot. Why is there so much snot?!?

With that in mind, Warren and I had a little chat and came to the conclusion that we really hate sleeping at night and seeing our friends whenever we want. So we decided to have another baby. After a few terrifying bumps in the road, we finally got pregnant and were well on our way to having baby number two.

I'll speed through the next bit for you - hospitalised at 24 weeks with possible pre-term labour (luckily false), regular scans as this baby was predicted to be a chunk (unluckily true) and then booked in for an induction at 38 weeks. I wish I'd also had the summary and not lived through that to be honest, pregnancy is so bloody anxiety inducing!

I also won't bore you/freak you out (delete as appropriate) with the labour and birth details. In summary it was another speedy labour and our baby boy, Connor, was born in the early hours of the 6th November. 

Here's the little grump:

I DIDN'T sustain another horrendous, can't-sit-down-ever tear or haemorrhage like I did with Dylan and I honestly thought we were home and dry.

But we weren't home and dry. Unfortunately Connor was the one that took the hit this time - I would honestly have given anything for it to have been me that suffered if I could have spared him just one second of discomfort. That's the thing about having babies, the Mum-guilt starts as soon as they're born and they place them onto your chest for a cuddle. If you haven't had a baby yet then just know that you have been warned on that one.

When he was born, he was purple and didn't cry. Paediatricians were bleeped, he was placed on the resuscitaire (if you haven't seen your baby on a resuscitaire then count yourself as one of the lucky ones) and they did everything that they could to make him cry. He didn't. As a result of that, he didn't inflate his lungs properly and couldn't maintain his oxygen levels. The decision was then made to take him to special care for 'a little while' for oxygen and observation. 

So off they went, with Warren also in tow. The Midwives also left shortly afterwards to complete all the paperwork and put the birth on the system. I have to say that the silence after they all left was deafening and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I don't really want to talk about that time but I will say that being on your own in an empty and silent delivery room when you should have your newborn baby in your arms is one of the worst things I've ever experienced. And, if you've read my previous posts, you'll know I've had my fair share of crappy experiences.

Connor, it turned out, wasn't in special care for 'a little while', he was there for five very long, very stressful days. The day after arriving he was diagnosed with a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) and was put onto a machine to provide oxygen and pressure to keep his lung open until he started to recover. I have to stop here just to say that the special care team are TRULY FANTASTIC. They were so friendly and explained everything as we went along, they also provided me with many kind words and tissues (so many tissues) when I had one of my multiple wobbles and messy cried AT them. From day one we knew he was in safe hands and they were just amazing, beautiful human beings. Not to get too political but they honestly aren't paid enough for all the work that they do.

Here's our little monkey getting his money's worth from the NHS:

After five days he was well enough to be discharged from special care to the ward and then a few days later (after being in hospital for a week) we were finally discharged home to begin our next adventure as a family of four. I honestly thought we were home and dry.

But we weren't home and dry.

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

So it's been a while...

Oh, hi guys!

I last wrote a blog post in July 2018 - say whaaaat? I can't believe it's been that long - I guess the old saying is true and time does actually fly when you're having fun, right?! In view of this I thought I'd just write a little post to let you know that: 

I'M STILL FRICKING HERE.

That's right folks, I kicked Larry's butt and am continuing to do so. It's like I sent him on a round the world travelling trip and he's decided not to come back. Am I sad though? Am I heck. Stay away Larry, you life-stealing twonk.

The post-cancer life is not without it's drawbacks though, unfortunately; I am still a regular at the hospital anytime I have a 'twinge' (if they offered a loyalty card program then I'd definitely be one of the people with the most stamps), although I am hoping that this will change as time goes on and I learn to become less terrified and actually trust my body a little bit more. Time will tell on that one I guess. I have to say that I cannot fault the NHS though, they always fit me in and are always very nice to me - so ta very muchly St Albans hospital, you absolute bunch of wonders.

As I am writing this I have also realised that I probably need to address another change that has happened this year. So ladies and gentleman, please let me introduce the elephant in the room - this specific elephant has just happened to turn thirty a few weeks ago. That's right! The big 3-0.
Just so we're clear, that elephant is me (ha!) and I'm still waiting for my huge life-affirming 'epiphany' to rock up and slap me in the face. Currently I feel very much the same as I did when I was 29. Oh well.
It is a very weird feeling though, as society tells me that I'm supposed to be absolutely shocked and appalled that I've turned thirty; to be perfectly blunt I have to say that I'm genuinely still happy to be here. Every year is a huge f*** you to cancer - so bring it life, I'll take whatever you've got as long as I still get to be around. Morbid but true unfortunately. Here's a little joke (that I love) to cheer you all up though:

The other day I found a lion in hiding in my wardrobe, when I asked him what he was doing he told me it was "Narnia business".

Gettit? NARNIA BUSINESS!!! It's a good joke, no? You're welcome to use that one!

Speaking of turning thirty, I would also like to say a huge thank you to everyone that came to my party and for all the gifts and cards I received. I bloody love each and every one of you - thank you for making me feel like an absolute queen! If I make it to 40 then I probably will be a lot more civilised (HA!) and probably won't throw a party like that. So thanks team! You bloody awesome bunch of people, you!

Finally, in other news my sisters (sisters'? I don't really understand apostrophes. Apologies about that) have done it again and I currently have two new nieces or nephews cooking, one due in December and one in January. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm very excited! Fun Aunty Meg (I mean, that name is definitely self-titled but I feel like it's not a lie) is ready for you!

That's me done for now, I'll just leave you with a little family selfie.The more eagle-eyed readers may spot that it is an old selfie (my hair is now quite orange - intentionally orange and I am unashamed of that) but this one includes Toby. Who doesn't love a dog selfie, amiright?

Awww he's so hairy and slobbery, plus Toby doesn't look too bad either. Pahahaha!

Bye for now - thanks everyone!

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

Guess who's back? Back again...

Hello everyone! 

I'm aware I've been pretty absent and neglectful of this blog - it definitely doesn't deserve it as it helped me through the many crappy events of last year - but I hope you'll let me off as I have been super busy! With that in mind I have written this edition to elaborate on several of the FREAKING AWESOME things that have happened since my last post. You may want to make yourself a drink and get yourself cosy; we're going to be here for a while. Hey ho, let's go...

My Work Life
If my memory serves me right I believe that my last post was about leaving Midwifery and moving on to becoming a Library Assistant extraordinaire? Well, that happened. I've been at my library post for just over three months and I bloody well love it. I miss people I used to work with but not once have I missed actual Midwifery, so I'm pretty darn happy about that. Plus I now work with some of the most fantastic people that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting - very patient people who have answered my one billion, incredibly annoying, questions and have never once told me to go away. For this I have to say a huge thank you! One day I promise that I will become the World's Best Library Assistant, but for now I feel like my colleagues are mentally rolling their eyes when they see me heading their way - but thank you for not physically rolling them at me, it's much appreciated!
Midwifery - 0: Library Assistant - 1

My Personal Life
(Strap yourselves in everyone, this is where it get extra exciting *dramatic music*)
As of the 5th May 2018, I am now MARRIED! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hdjflshfdshfdskhfskhdsjweljwkewjklejklwejewk *excited noises*
Here's an incredibly arty photo of me and my new husband, eeek!

All credit for how good we look definitely goes to my fantastic photographer Claire - www.artbyclairephotography.com

We genuinely had THE BEST time ever and have to say a huge thank you to all that came and celebrated with us, we hope you enjoyed it as much as we did - if I could relive any day of my life that would be the one for me (funnily enough, the day I got diagnosed with cancer wasn't in the running...) I have to also give a big shout-out to Nyssa, my absolutely lovely and brilliant make-up artist for the day. If you're reading this (and I hope you are) just know you are fantastic and I would definitely not have had the courage to go wig-less if you hadn't been there with your awesome cheerleader skills! If anyone is looking for a makeup artist for anything, ever, look her up please - www.nyssaaddison.co.uk - she'll not only do your make-up, she'll also make you feel like you are the most amazing human being that ever walked this earth.

What else to update you on? Oh yes, I can briefly summarise our honeymoon if you would like? It was Amazing - it 100% earned that capital A. Brief summary over. Here's a photo of Warren pretending he has the necessary skills to fly a helicopter:

That was a helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon FYI. It was insane! In the best way.

What's that? You would like an extended "brief summary" of the honeymoon? Your wish is my command, as they say:

• 7 night cruise from Miami with day trips to Mexico, Belize and Honduras = bloody brilliant.
• 5 night stay in The Mirage in Las Vegas with a Grand Canyon helicopter tour, a meal in the Eiffel Tower restaurant, Cirque Du Soleil show and the CSI experience = bloody brilliant.

So there you have it folks, it was bloody brilliant. It took up pretty much all of our holiday allowance for the year but it was definitely worth it. Plus a big thank you to Auntie Beth (haha!) for dog sitting, Toby just told me to tell you that he misses you!

SKINNY DIP

Yes, you read that correctly - SKINNY DIP! Last month me and my bestie for the restie, Faye, travelled to Wicklow in Ireland to partake in an attempt at the world's largest skinny dip. With 2,500 women we flipping smashed it (we had to beat 700) and are now very proud Guinness World Record holders! It was women only and I fully recommend it to any woman out there - it was the most empowering day and the nakedness was such a small part of it. I've never seen so many shapes and sizes - it was definitely a fantastic reminder that people rarely look like how the media tells us that we should. We're going back next year, feel free to tag along!

It is definitely a contender for the best weekend ever. We may have lost a dog - and potentially stole a dog - at our Air Bnb (quite a long story - just know that it had a happy outcome) but I would do the weekend over again in a heartbeat. Here's a photo of us pre skinny dip (on the wine and doing fine at 10am!):

Life Without Larry

So I feel that I need to talk about my life post-cancer and I apologise for that. If you would like to skip this section then I will in no way hold it against you, for those still with me please just know that it's a little bit of a Debbie Downer.

I'm going to 100% honest right now. Alright? Here goes:

I feel like people expect me to be over the fact that I have had cancer.

There, I said it.

I have to say that I'm definitely in a much better place than I was before, but I still think about it and worry about it multiple times a day. I'm not over it and I don't think that I ever will be. I have days when I can't do much except cry; they are thankfully rare but they do happen, so if I last-minute cancel plans with you it's probably due to that and not that I don't want to hang out with you. I also struggle to make long-term plans and life goals as I have a little voice in my head that informs me that I probably won't live as long as everyone else. Sad but true, I feel like my whole life is one big question mark. I told you it would be a Debbie Downer!

I know that people have incredibly busy lives and I'm fully aware that I don't have cancer anymore, but it's always there no matter what I do. It's like Larry vacated his squat but he still sends me regular postcards.

I'm truly sorry to be so honest but this blog was born out of the fact that I needed somewhere to vent, so that's what I've done. F**k you Larry.

Now, I feel like I can't leave you on a downer so I've selected lyrics from another song that helped me through my cancer treatment. The song is 'I Lived' by OneRepublic and if you feel a bit crap I recommend it. If you were at the wedding you may know it as it's the one that made Faye and I actually run to dance!

"I hope that you spend your days

But they all add up,

And when that sun goes down

Hope you raise your cup,

I wish that I could witness

All your joy and all your pain,

But until my moment comes

I'll say

I, I did it all,

I, I did it all,

I owned every second that this world could give,

I saw so many places, the things that I did,

Yeah with every broken bone,

I swear I lived."

Until next time, blog fans, I wish you all the health and happiness in the world.

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

National Larry Removal Day

Why, hello there!

It's me! I'm back again! And I've got a little update for you all, which I'll come to in a little while. It's an area of my life not directly linked with cancer (who knew that I had any of those left, eh? Cancer is pretty damn life consuming!) but it's a big old change so hold on to your hats.

But first it appears that another Cancerversary™ has come and gone and I DIDN'T blog about it! Saaaaayyy whaaaat? This particular celebration should have taken place last Tuesday (13th Feb) when it was one whole year since my operation. RIP Larry the lump - you gave me pure hell but I gave it back and I won. So sayonara you lumpy jerk, it's been a whole year and I still don't miss you. Sometimes I miss who I used to be before I had to come to the pretty horrible realisation that nobody is immortal - especially not me. That feeling usually passes quite quickly, however, and is helped along when I remember how bloody proud of myself I am that I got through last year. So yeah, screw you Larry and screw the horse you rode in on.

My next Cancerversary™ isn't until the 18th April, when we will celebrate the anniversary of my PICC line insertion (and the end of the joy of having a bath), bet you can't wait for that one, amiright? Put it in your diaries, let's have a good old fashioned PICC party!

Now we move on to the update that I mentioned at the beginning - I'm incredibly nervous and full of stress to announce this but here goes - for the foreseeable future (and possibly forever) I am leaving Midwifery. Yes, you read that right - in the next few weeks I will cease to be working as a Midwife. It is a decision that has brought only relief and no regret at all - things haven't been the same since I went back and my priorities in life have changed a lot. I can no longer cope with the sheer amount of stress that I feel at work and I am constantly letting down my colleagues and the women in my care because I feel as though the stress stops me from doing my job properly. So to everyone I work with presently, and all those I used to work with, I want to say I huge thank you for all the love and support you have given me. I love you all. Keep on keeping on - you are all bloody amazing people who do bloody amazing jobs but I'm afraid it's last orders for me. I may return, who knows? But I need to take a break to work out what works for me.

What's next for me, I hear you ask? Well I am off to work at Watford central library, a fact that actually makes me incredibly happy. I always wanted to be a librarian when I was little and now my childhood dreams are coming true! Bring it on!

That's all from me team, I'm off to internet shop for some glasses and a pencil skirt - I'm going to rock this librarian look...

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

Chemo-do dragon.

Hi there. 

I want to introduce this latest blog post by explaining that I started this blog for two main reasons: firstly to inform friends and family of what was happening throughout this extremely long process; secondly to have a place to vent my feelings. With that in mind I just want to let you all know that this edition is written very much for the second reason, and it's not a good day. I do have two bits of good news to update you all with though; I'll put that first so that you can stop reading if you're not in the mood for anything depressing. I won't be offended I promise.

So good news first: I have a new nephew! Here he is:

Everyone meet little Henry, he's just so squish-able and lovely! He was born last week on my chemo day so that was a lovely distraction, fun Aunty Meg is onto a winner with all these nieces and nephews! I also have to say that both my sisters are absolute bosses at having babies, they both pretty much had to be persuaded it was time to go to hospital. Proud of you, ladies!

Next bit of good news: remember those genetic tests I spoke about last time? Well earlier this week I found out that I don't have any mutations in those genes, meaning that as far as they're concerned I'm not genetically predisposed to get cancer. This also means that neither are any other members of my family! Woop! This is good news! Although for me personally I kind of put the whole genetics thing onto a metaphorical pile to process at a later date so I'm not cracking out the champagne just yet; that pile is pretty huge so I'm sure it won't be processed for a while. I kind of feel like I've processed enough for now, OK? But I'm so proud of my little genes, those fellas did good! So now I'm just one of those weirdos that got cancer and they don't know why, lucky me right?

So that was the positive stuff. Feel free to cut out now as I'm warning you that it's downhill from here.

Last Wednesday I had my fourth dose of chemo, I'm aware that's not blog-worthy news but what is different is that for that dose and the last two to come I'm now on only one medication; a beauty by the name of Docetaxel. I'm not going to quiz you so you don't need to remember that name but what I would like to draw your attention to is the side-effects linked with this bad boy, these include (but are not limited to):

• nausea,
• diarrhoea,
• loss of appetite,
• feeling weak or tired,
• headaches,
• muscle pain,
• joint pain,
• dry mouth and mouth sores,
• fingernail or toenail changes.

I know what you're thinking, pretty standard chemo side-effect list right? I agree with you there, it is. The problem has come for me is that I have managed to develop all (and I mean all) of these side effects at the same time and they will not leave me alone. Plus, whoever simply typed out 'joint pain' did that side-effect a disservice; imagine laying in bed awake all night because every part of your body is aching and there's nothing you can do about it. Another lady on a cancer forum (FYI - never in my life did I think I'd be a cancer forum subscriber) compared it to 'feeling like you've been run over by a bus' and I 100% agree with her. Well, actually I feel like I've been run over by said bus, which has then reversed back over me for good measure and then everyone on the bus has disembarked and are now videoing me with dreams of going viral. But I get where she was coming from.

Also, fingernail and toenail changes? How generic. What that actually means is that your fingertips will actually throb all day long and your fingernails and toenails will feel like some invisible troll is peeling them off; but when you check them they're still there and if they had faces they would probably be laughing at you. I can't press the buttons on the remote control properly, which majorly upsets me and completely ruins my daily Netflix binges. 

Now, you may be able to sense some anger in my writing today and you would be correct, I am angry. The main reason for this is because it's been nine days since chemo and nothing is improving. Every morning I get out of bed (after my nightly insomnia routine) and it's all still there. If just one thing went away each day I would be a much happier Meg. But it doesn't and I'm not. This feeling is heightened by the fact that I get breathless and tired if I walk for longer than ten minutes so I'm also not really leaving the house, plus it's way too hot to wear my wig at the moment and my head is now 60% bald. So it's pretty crap all round right now. Believe me when I tell you that there have been many tears shed and a whole bunch of weepy counselling sessions with my dog Toby. He's a great listener, I highly recommend him. Thinking of buying him some glasses and a posh notepad and pen so he can really get into the counselling role.

So in summary, I am fed up. It's taken a whole blog to come to that conclusion, but sometimes you've just got to let it out, you know? I promise I will try to make my next post more upbeat, which means I probably won't be posting for a long time. Ha! Also, if any of my lovely colleagues are reading this then I'm so sorry that I haven't been in to see you all lately; you can probably tell that it has been a bit crap but I plan to come back to you as soon as I can. I'm trying the 'power of positivity' thing but my body hates me apparently.

Now if you'll excuse me, Toby has just informed me it's time for our daily counselling session. He gets super mad when I'm late.

To end with here's a little joke I read on the forum:

"Knock, knock."


"Who's there?"


"Not your white blood cells, that's for sure."

Us chemo people are pretty damn funny.

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

Meme me up.

So as you may have guessed from the title and what is possibly one of my favourite memes around:

 I AM OFFICIALLY HALFWAY THROUGH CHEMOTHERAPY!! 

If you read that and envisioned me shouting it then you would be correct; I just yelled it at my dog, who is now looking at me with a mix of confusion and pity. Totally worth it. This time in seven weeks (cheeky white blood cell count permitting) I will have received my final dose of chemotherapy and will be patiently waiting for my hair to grow back. There is a little question mark over what happens after chemotherapy (which I will briefly explain to you all next - stay tuned!) but meh to all of that because I hate chemo and I don't care who knows it. Plus I am slightly obsessed with the idea of having a bubble bath, currently I am unable to do that because of my PICC line - first world problems, amirite? So if anyone wants to throw me an impromptu "Halfway through chemo" party then I am totally down, just don't make it a surprise so that I make sure I have one of my wigs on at the time. OK?

Now for a brief explanation of the whole post-chemo plan - previously I was all set to have radiotherapy; this involves a whole load of high-energy waves directed at the specific spot (that Larry so recently kindly vacated) every day for two and a half weeks. Recently, however, I had an appointment with the genetics team as everyone I've met is pretty much shaking their heads and wondering how a 27-year-old with minimal family history got cancer. I wish I could help, but I'm just as confused as them to be honest. At my genetics appointment they explained that I am now being tested for three specific gene mutations; I won't bore you with the technical details but in a nutshell finding these mutations in me could either mean that I'm at a high risk of getting breast cancer again or I'm at a high risk of basically having any soft-tissue cancer in the future (depending on if and which specific mutation they identify). Does that make sense? If not tough, I can't think of an easier explanation. 

What that means in terms of the plan is that if any mutations are found they will offer me a full mastectomy (read total boob lop-off job) in order to completely minimise the breast cancer recurrence risk; I'm putting it out there now that if they offer it to me I will take it. Me and my boobs aren't great friends at the minute and you know what? I'd rather stay alive. Plus I will be looking forward to the completely awesome tattoo I will get where those bad boys used to be, so onwards and upwards I guess. On the flip side, if nothing is found then we will carry on with the radiotherapy as planned, meaning I will and forevermore have very wonkily-sized boobs. I'm getting a tattoo either way though, just try and stop me Mum.

That's pretty much all my cancer updates for now. My hair is still falling out like it's abandoning a sinking ship, chemo still sucks and people are still 100% awesome. Although, on a non-cancer related subject (I know right? There apparently is more to my life than cancer! I don't believe it either) Warren and I have booked most of our honeymoon! We're cruising the Caribbean for a bit (my choice) and then heading to Vegas for the rest (Warren's choice) - if you know Warren then you probably wouldn't have bet on us not going to Vegas to be honest. So basically let's get this wedding over so that I can go on my Honeymoon!*

*Massive joke - I'm also super excited about the wedding too.

Until next time, blog fans!

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

The moment we've all been waiting for.

Good news!

Today I had my follow up appointment at the clinic and received the news we've all been waiting for (*spoiler alert* it's bloody awesome news):

LARRY HAS WELL AND TRULY SODDED OFF! ACTUALLY WELL. AND. TRULY.

I'm writing that in capitals because I would really love to shout it, in fact I might do just that. Goodbye Larry! Ciao! Adiós! Arrivederci! Auf wiedersehen! Sayonara! Aloha (the goodbye version of aloha obviously) - and don't come back! Big thanks to Google translate for those.

Plus, remember those pesky lymph nodes? I personally remember as thanks to those bad boys I am rocking two beautiful scars instead of one. Well, it appears that they disliked Larry too and declined his invite to the cancer party. That's right! No cancer in my lymph nodes, which means at this exact moment in time (and hopefully forevermore) I am cancer free.

Now, before you all rush round my house and throw me a big surprise party (which you're totally welcome to do - just not tonight, I'm busy tonight) there is a little bit extra to inform you all; they have decided that because I am a 27 year old, (reasonably) healthy woman with minimal family history it is still recommended that I have chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Which means I need to go down the whole fertility clinic, egg harvesting thing first too. So we're not out of the woods yet team, I'm still playing (and winning) cancer treatment bingo, and I for one cannot wait for my prize - in fact, if it's that I come out the other end with all my hair still on my head then that is enough for me! Not my leg hair though, I could do without shaving for a while.

In summary - lots of yay, some meh. As Bon Jovi very eloquently put it:

"Hey, man, I'm alive. I'm takin' each day and night at a time...

...I'm feeling like a Monday but someday I'll be Saturday night."

I hope you all are feeling the Saturday night vibes though, hopefully I'll be joining you soon.

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

So long Larry...

I'm back!

Hey all, just a little one today to let you all know that I am now Larry-free. I'm very tired and sore so not sure this post will be all that entertaining (sorry about that) but I just wanted to update you all. I came home Tuesday morning and have been resting and inhaling pain relief since then, but today seems to be a much better day - so fingers crossed!

Also *unflattering photo alert* - here's the evolution of my hospital journey. Ready? Here it is:

To summarise, from top left is my admission and then just changed into my gown. From bottom left is me just out of surgery (I know right? Who takes a selfie just out of surgery? Apparently doped up me does!) and then the first night post op. I promise you I look a lot better than that now. Well, a lot is somewhat stretching it - I look a little better.

Anyway I've decided that I'm going to take each positive as it comes. Here's my list so far:

1. Larry has gone. This is the most important one!

2. Yesterday I successfully washed my hair - it took about 10 hours and 100 swear words but hey, I did it.

3. I'm having to wear my sports bra to support my holey boob so in my head that means that every time I walk anywhere around the house I'm technically exercising. Right? Right.

4. I'm allowed to wear my slobby clothes all day and nobody is allowed to say anything about it.

So yeah, that's my list so far. I'm sure I'll be adding to it as the days go on but it's enough for now. A huge thank you for all your support, me and my sore boob thank you enormously. Plus a big shout-out to possibly the world's best fiance Warren, who has become my personal slave - I've not even heard so much as a tut when I ask him to do a task for me. I wonder how long I'll get away with that for? 2 years? I hope so!

Next for me is my appointment on Wednesday when I will find out whether or not Larry managed to party with my lymph nodes (and therefore possibly other places in my body). Let's hope not, although maybe he did because he was a massive prick, wasn't he? I'm glad he's gone. Tosser.

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

Just a quickie (pahahaha quickie!)

And it's goodbye from him...

I couldn't let this evening pass without allowing Larry to say a final farewell to you all; tomorrow is operation day and therefore the day that we will go our separate ways. Larry - or Lazza, arsehole, Lumpy McBoob, he has been dubbed many names along the way - and I have gone through an emotional roller-coaster these past forty three days (I say we - I'm pretty sure a cancerous lump doesn't have any emotions but go with it, OK?) but I have to say I'm pretty happy that he's leaving.

Tomorrow I am being injected with radioactive dye in the morning (so they can scan me and establish which lymph nodes they need to remove and test for cancer) then the big operation is in the afternoon, followed by an overnight stay and finally I'll be home and Larry free! Although a small part of me will miss our (very much one-sided) chats, I guess I'll just have to name a body part and talk to that instead - how does Norman the knee sound?

So, I guess I'll see you all on the other side! Wish me luck!

Love, Meg and (for the final time) Larry xx

P.S. I totally have shaved my legs and painted my toenails for this operation. Who does that? I just hope someone in the operating theatre thinks to themselves "Wow, her toenails are awesome and her legs are so smooth!" Then at least it wasn't all for nothing...

P.P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.