Next stop on the chemo train...

Let's talk about me some more, OK?

Welcome back everyone, it's very nice to see you all again. Apologies for the substantial gap between blog posts, lots of minor things have happened so I decided to save them up and hit you with them in one go. Bam! Let's begin.

First and foremost, chemo still definitely sucks. In fact, following the second dose that I received two weeks ago, I can tell you that the level of suck appears to increase after each subsequent dose. It's not enough that I experienced the same symptoms as before (fatigue, nausea, headaches blah blah blah) apparently my wonderful body decided that it would play a hilarious game of "chemo symptom roulette" for the first week. What this game entails is pretty much me waking up one day and being OK, then waking up the following day and having all the symptoms in one hit. Thanks body. Cue a LOT of me crying and saying "I just want to be OK" (imagine that said in a whiny, childlike voice and it'll be like you were actually there, count yourself lucky that you weren't though); it was messy, it was pathetic, but above all it was fully justified. OK? So now here I sit, slowly getting back to feeling like normal Meg (well let's face it, I'll always be weird but at least I'll feel normal health-wise) and just in time for another chemo dose next week. Come at me, bro.

Also chemo side-note before I move onto a much more fun topic - hot weather and chemo is actually like living death; imagine having a headache, feeling sick and also sweating from every possible pore on your body. I'll leave you with that image to take away, boys and girls. Please enjoy it, that one's on me.

Now we move on to a much more important topic; namely my hair, or lack thereof.

Don't stop reading! There are pictures and everything!

Last time I posted it was to inform you that I was off to the hairdressers to say goodbye to what was left of my hair. That did happen and right now I'm going to do a shameless plug for Buggsy's hairdressers in Hemel Hempstead and the man of the hour - my hairdresser Gavin. This absolute legend of a man opened up his shop early so that I could go and have my head shaved without other people gawping, he even lent me a hat as I forgot to take one (classic Meg) so that I didn't feel exposed and embarrassed getting home. If you need a new hairdresser please go there, tell him Meg sent you - you won't receive a discount, he'll just think I'm an awesome person.

Following the shearing of my head, I then posted a photo to Facebook. If you didn't see it then worry not, here it is in all its glory:

Like my photos in previous posts, I am aware that you are now fully shocked that one person can be so attractive. I know, right? Unfortunately it is a burden that I have to bear, just feel grateful it wasn't given to you. I have to confess that I had possibly way too much fun taking selfies that day, I struggle to take a "serious" selfie so this is the best of about twenty that I took. If there was a selfie school I would definitely enroll myself.

The response on Facebook was incredibly overwhelming, in a good way. Thank you to everyone who commented or liked it; I've said it before but I'll say it again - human beings are awesome things. Following the incredible level of love I received I then felt totally empowered with my new hairdo; phrases like "I got this" and "who needs hair anyway?" swirled around my brain for the next week. I ventured out, I met up with people, I went to see both my two-year-old nieces (one didn't mind it, the other niece took a while to look at/talk to me but we're firm friends again now) and I generally went about my life as normal. As you should right? You can probably sense there is a "but" looming somewhere though...

This "but" (hehe, immature moment) comes in the shape of my appointment last Friday, when I received my free NHS wig (big thank you for that NHS, you rock). I took it home and decided to put it on for a few hours to "get used to it", my intention was to save it and wear it for special occasions - basically anytime I had to wear a posh dress. After those few hours I found I couldn't take it off; I mean, it wasn't stuck to my head in any supernatural/Goosebumps way, I just loved it. So now my new thing is wigs. I have to say sorry though, I tried to be a strong "I've had cancer and I don't care" shaved/bald headed lady, but it wasn't for me; it appears my hair was so much more important to me than I originally thought. Kudos to any strong "I've had cancer and I don't care" shaved/bald headed ladies out there, you are so brave and "you got this!" I'm afraid I won't be joining you just yet. Here's a photo of me wearing the wig (yes it's another terrible selfie):

Now I am addicted to wigs, I have the posh one from the NHS pictured above but I can't really afford to buy those types unfortunately. My new idea is that I am going to buy cheap, synthetic hair wigs in various shades and styles (think Kylie Jenner, if you don't know who that is then you are clearly a much better person than me) then I can pick what wig I would like depending on my mood. If you see me in the future just bear in mind that I know that the wigs are cheap and probably look just that. So just smile and say "I like your hair!" OK? Thanks team! A girl has got to cope with losing her hair somehow, right?

The final photo I will leave you with is me wearing my first purchase, I'm calling it "Sensible Meg":

Well, maybe "Sensible Meg and Toby's butt" is probably more fitting.

Cancer cannot beat me, not when I have wigs and a terrible sense of humour.

Love, Meg xx

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Hair we go.

Update time!

Hello again everyone! I have a few updates in the life of chemo-Meg to get through, I bet none of you can wait! If chemo-Meg was a superhero I feel like her superpowers would probably be the ability to take epic naps, complain about how sick she feels, and messy cry a lot; if Marvel are interested then I'm definitely open to negotiations on that one. But I digress, let's get started then shall we? This probably needs to be a type of 'update sandwich'; I'll tell you one thing good, then all the bad, and then end with something awesome. All aboard the emotional roller-coaster that is my life right now, are you all strapped in? Let's get on it...

Let's start with the promised one thing good: I just want to let you all know that I am feeling much better, I wholeheartedly thank the chemo fairies (and whoever else that was involved) for that. The first week was hell, the second week was better and by the third week I had almost forgotten that I was a chemotherapy patient. During that last week I even managed to get my butt to work for one shift - I am super proud of myself for that. So that's the good.

Now for the bad, there are a few things to discuss so get yourselves mentally prepared. Take a deep breath. Ready? Here goes, there's three bad updates and I've numbered them so that you know when we're nearly at the final, awesome update:

1. Today I rocked up for my next chemotherapy dose as planned, when I arrived I was informed that they needed to repeat a blood test (my full blood count for all my fellow healthcare workers out there - hello to you!) because my white cell count (the part of your blood that fights off infection for all of my non-healthcare workers out there - hello to you also!) was borderline. Twenty minutes after the blood was taken (which for the NHS is absomalutely amazing) I was told that the result had come back even lower than before which meant that my consultant needed to make a decision; to chemo or not to chemo. Unfortunately he called them back and decided it was a not to chemo situation - this means that I have been pushed back to next week; I have another blood test on Monday and if all is well my next chemo will be Wednesday. Because of this all subsequent chemo doses are also pushed back by a week, so as you can probably imagine I am super thrilled about this (if you aren't great at sarcasm then just know that I am definitely not super thrilled about it). So that's that. If I could contact my white blood cells then I assure you that I would give them a firm talking to until they sorted themselves out. For everyone out there with a cough, cold or sniffle (or anything more serious) please leave me alone for now; it's not that I don't like you (although I can't guarantee that) I just don't want to catch it. Apologies.
2. This update is possibly the most depressing, sorry about that. On Saturday I had a shower (that's not the update, I shower/bathe often I promise) during this shower I found it strange that I had to remove my hair from the plug three times because the water wasn't draining. Since I noticed that it has been a massive free-for-all on my scalp; it turns out that my hair severely dislikes me and has been waiting for an excuse to leave. So here I sit now and I think that if I lose any more hair I will unfortunately become the female Bill Bailey - that's not even a joke, unfortunately. Because of this total lack of loyalty shown by my hair I have booked an appointment with my hairdresser tomorrow to get it cut short. I'm talking full-on boy short; mainly because of the Bill Bailey look, but also because my scalp is hurting constantly (think sunburn-type pain or if you've ever had your hair tied up for way too long discomfort-type pain) and I would like it to stop, please. So wish me luck. Also if you read this and see me in person in the future then please do me a favour and don't mention my lack of hair; losing my hair is incredibly stressful and I would rather just pretend that I never had hair and that I've always looked this way. OK? Thanks.
3. Many of you may have heard that you lose weight during chemotherapy, I also heard this. I just want to tell you now that it is all lies. Absolutely 100% not true. As a result I am now on a diet/exercise plan as I have a wedding that I need to slim down for - THIS IS THE MOST DEPRESSING UPDATE OF ALL. Chemotherapy and a diet? Life is pretty sucky right now. So don't believe the hype everyone, chemotherapy basically sucks. The end.

You will be pleased to know that the bad is now over. Take all the time you need to collect yourselves, I'll still be here don't you worry. Go and have a cup of tea, take a nap, have a vodka and watch a Disney movie - those are my plans anyway.

So now for the awesome; as mentioned at the beginning I went back to work on Friday for the first time post-chemo. I was a little bit nervous about going back but I have to say that I have never in my life been surrounded by so much love, support and care. A big shout-out to my work mummy Elsa (who I'm not sure if she reads this but one day she might) who organised a card and collection for me. I go through my life convinced that I am not really good enough to be noticed, so to read the amount of love people wrote in those cards actually made me feel incredibly special (if I'm allowed to admit that) and also allowed me to have a very happy, messy cry. So thank you to any of my colleagues that are reading this, I genuinely love you right now.

And now we have reached the end of this update. Tomorrow I am off to try on some wigs, an appointment that I am weirdly dreading. Wish me luck!

Until next time, blog fans.

Love, Meg xx

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Finding Chemo.

What. A. Week.

I've just had a coffee and sugary cereal and now I am jumping on that caffeine/sugar high to write this post; once it wears off I'm pretty sure I'll be plunged back into the fiery pit of chemo side-effects so time is of the essence! This is my first post-chemo update and I promise I'll do my best to not be a martyr, but oh-my-word it has been a fully terrible week. So let's start where I left off, on the eve of my PICC line/chemo extravaganza...

I don't really have all that much to tell you about the PICC line insertion part and to be honest it's one of those experiences that you kind of have to go through yourself (which I genuinely hope you never have to) but for those of you who are staring blankly at that phrase, Macmillan have a brilliant summary for you:

"PICC lines (peripherally inserted central catheters) are used to give someone chemotherapy treatment or other medicines. A PICC line is a long, thin, flexible tube known as a catheter. It’s put into one of the large veins of the arm, above the bend of the elbow. It’s then threaded into the vein until the tip sits in a large vein just above the heart."

So yeah, I now have that beauty in my arm for the next eighteen weeks. It is currently covered with a pair of tights that I expertly cut to make sleeve-like; Warren says it makes me look like The Rock (google 'the rock elbow pads' and you'll see) so I guess every cloud, right? Once a week I have to trundle myself back to Mount Vernon hospital to get the line flushed and dressing changed, but other than that I can't say the PICC line has had much impact on my day-to-day life. Well, except for the fact that I have to wear an adult equivalent of a swimming armband over it when I want to wash - something for which I am grateful that only Warren has witnessed. Always wear your armbands when having a shower, kids.

Now onto the main event: the wonder that is chemotherapy.  At 09.30am last Wednesday Warren and I rocked up to Mount Vernon for my first dose. Joy. My chemotherapy medication is a mix of four different types (sometimes one is just not enough, you know?) and is collectively called FEC-T. This is pronounced 'feck tea' which is quite fitting as, due to the insane amount of nausea it caused, it is actually how I feel most evenings. The fact that it is four medications meant that it took a long old time to be given, in total I had two large syringes and two separate bags of medication all given veeery sloowwwly. On top of that I also opted to try their 'cold cap'; because there's some thought out there that if you cool the hair follicles during the treatment then you are less likely to go bald - to be honest I'll give anything a go that promises me I might keep my hair. And I'm talking anything. This had to be put on thirty minutes before treatment and then left on for an hour and a half afterwards. In total we were there for five and a half hours - a whole five and a half hours of my life that I'll never get back, amirite? So it was long, it was cold, and it was extremely boring. One plus is that they gave me coffee and sandwiches for free, nothing is bad when there's free food around. Also, big kudos to Warren for keeping me company throughout the whole process; he wasn't entitled to free sandwiches (that's clearly a cancer perk right there) but he did get free coffee.

Going back to the cold cap, Warren very nicely took a photo of me wearing that beaut for you all to see. If you ever thought I was in any way attractive before then please prepare yourself for something truly sensational - ladies and gents, I give you the cold cap:

I know, I know, but I promise you that is me. You're probably thinking that no one could ever look that attractive whilst receiving chemotherapy but I believe I have achieved just that. I'm pretty proud of myself I can tell you. As a side note though, that thing is bloody cold; I'm talking -3 degrees cold. So cold, in fact, that it affected my ability to concentrate until my head went spectacularly numb, this chemotherapy thing is super fun guys!

So chemotherapy finished and we went home, armed with two types of anti-sickness tablets, steroid tablets and injections I have to give myself to boost my immune system - the fun never ends! Very naive and non-experienced me felt absolutely fine that day and even went as far as to congratulate myself that I had this chemotherapy thing in the bag. I was so very wrong. When I look back now I could actually laugh at my naivety, I had no clue what I was getting into and how reliant on those tablets I would be. The day after treatment the chemotherapy fairies visited and gave me lovely gifts which included (but were not limited to): I-can't-get-off-the-sofa-to-pee fatigue, oh-my-gosh-I-can't-even-think-about-a-kitchen nausea, my-problems-are-the-worst-contest-winning tearful episodes, and my-brain-is-waking-me-up-at-night-to-tell-me-I-have-a-headache headaches. Put those all together and you have a delightful recipe for the worst week of your life - just trust me on that one, OK?

Now I just want to take a break from wallowing in self-pity to say a few thank yous. Basically thank you to everyone that sent me support after my last "woe is me" blog post; you all got me out of my slump and I love you all for that, keep being awesome OK? The second is another big thank you for each and every one of you who has sent me lovely, supportive messages this week. Human beings are amazing, caring things and I cannot thank you all enough. I will never ever be fed up of receiving messages from you all, so thanks team. If you ever need me then I hope I can repay the favour back to you, just try not to make it anytime in this eighteen weeks, alright? I'm a bit busy making a big deal out of my own issues at the minute.

This is a pretty long update, I'm very sorry about that and I am coming to an end soon; I kind of have to end soon anyway, the nausea monster is looming and he wants to play our favourite game of 'how sick do you have to feel before you live in the toilet'. It's a brilliant game, I thoroughly recommend it to all. From speaking to my mum the other day she likened my symptoms to that of particularly nasty morning sickness; except my baby is chemo obviously (not a very common choice of name for a baby I have to admit). To all you ladies who went/are going through that: I salute you. You got this, morning sickness experiencing pregnant women. If a whiny person like me can get through it then so can you! Roll on the next two weeks until I have to cycle through it all again, I cannot wait!

So now I will say goodbye; me and my aforementioned monster are off to nap.
He's also a brilliant big spoon.

Love, Meg xx

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Let's talk about eggs (a bit more), baby... Oh and feelings.

Surprise blog post!

Now, I am fully aware that in my last post I told you all that you would next hear from me after my first chemotherapy treatment on Wednesday. But fear not blog team - I haven't gone mad or got addicted to posting (just yet), there is a point to this extra edition I promise. This post is a two part-er: the first part is an important addition that I forgot to mention last time, the second part is me using you all as my counselling method. Apologies in advance about that, just a warning that there may be a discussion around 'feelings'. Yuck. I won't be upset if you just read the first part, OK?

Part One

Following the last post my very supportive and lovely fiance, Warren, informed me that I had not mentioned his side of the whole egg harvesting day. He would like you all to know about his experience of being the other half of our awesome embryo-creating duo. So here goes. Don't worry though, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail - unless you want me to? In that case please message me, you total weirdo.

So after I had returned from my brilliant nap in theatre, Warren was then taken off to what the staff actually called the "little boys' room". I'm not making it up, they actually referred to it as that. Weird right? He was then given a pot and told to "do his thang" (they didn't say that, although I really wish they had). He did just that, gave them the pot back and now here we are.

Right now, I can imagine you all thinking that you really wish you could see what the "little boys' room" looked like. Am I right? Well, lucky for you people, Warren actually took it upon himself to take a photo to show you all. Prepare yourselves for something truly epic:

Yes! That is it! Please make sure you have fully admired the pad on the chair (just in case of spillage) and the who-knows-how-old magazines. Unfortunately I can't post the photo of the TV that he sent me as some options on it were a bit rudey and graphic, but please believe me that they cater for everyone - does Eastenders turn you on? Or maybe Neighbours? Well that's good because they've given you BBC iPlayer and Demand5 (along with a vast array of X-rated content I might add), what a truly weird world. Warren, when you read this, I hope you think that I did your experience justice; I tried to be super serious but it's hard when you send me photos like that!

So that concludes part one and both our experiences of the fertility clinic; I hope that all the men out there never have to sit in a glorified cupboard and produce a sample, but if you have to then I hope that you also have the joy of BBC iPlayer. It's the least I can do.

Part Two

Switch off now if you don't like feelings! You have been warned!

This evening I felt compelled to write a blog post as a way of getting my head straight; it feels like I'm standing on a ledge right now and when I step off I'll never be able to go back. That sounds overly dramatic and not like me at all, but it's how I'm feeling this evening. By starting chemotherapy (not that I have a choice) I feel like I am saying goodbye to many things; there's the replaceable things like my hair and my social life of course, but then there's also the possibility of losing irreplaceable things like my fertility which is very important to me. Long term there's also the fact that I'm fully aware that having cancer at the age of 27 means that there's the possibility it could come back at any point in my life and I have to go through all this again. Which at the moment is something I can't even think about.

So there you have it, that is my mood this evening. I have to say that when I write it all down I'm aware that it makes me sound incredibly whiny and needy, so I'm sorry about that. Reading it back has also made me decide to stop feeling sorry for myself so there will be no more discussions of feelings. It also helps that I'm watching The Little Mermaid as I write this; I've never watched that movie and felt sad, I highly recommend it as a pick me up.

Tomorrow is my PICC line insertion day and then Wednesday is chemotherapy day; I don't want to go into too much detail about those here as a) I don't really want to think about them right now and b) if I tell you now then I won't have anything to write about later, will I? So tune in next time for a summary of those epic appointments. I promise I will have cheered up by then; I bloody hope so anyway, if not I will be having a Disney movie marathon and a stern talk with myself.

Love Meg xx

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Let's talk about eggs, baby...

Welcome back!

Now I know you've all been anxiously checking my blog to see if I have posted another thrilling update on the medical journal that is my life - well congratulations! Today is that day! Make yourselves comfy (and maybe pour yourselves a drink) because you're in for a pretty long tale...

Last time I posted I was midway through my injections and scans, which feels like a hundred years ago now, this post is to tell you all that we have now gone through the whole fertility journey and out the other side. Phew! It has been an extremely long and emotional ride, one which I will try to summarise for you on a day-by-day basis, here goes:

Monday
This was the big, long-awaited 'egg collection' day. At 8.45am we rocked up to the fertility clinic in St Paul's (London, if anyone reading this isn't from the UK - in which case a big hello to you wherever you are, I hope the weather's lovely). Now, I really don't want to tell you in detail how eggs are harvested; it is a particularly 'intimate' procedure and I don't really want you to have to picture it. You're welcome. If you desperately want to know then here's a copy and pasted version from the 'Egg Donor Information Project' website (https://web.stanford.edu/class/siw198q/websites/eggdonor/procedures.html):

"Eggs are retrieved from the donor through transvaginal ultrasound aspiration, a surgical procedure performed under conscious sedation. (See figure below). Using a tube attached to an ultrasound probe, a physician guides a suctioning needle into each ovary and removes mature oocytes from the follicles."

There you go, I couldn't have put it better myself. From my perspective all I know is that I went to the operating theatre, had a truly awesome nap and when I woke up I was missing some eggs. Eight eggs to be exact. I don't know if that is a good number and to be honest I don't care if it wasn't, that was just how many they harvested. Then we went home. 
And that concludes Monday's adventure.

Tuesday
On this day I received a phone-call to tell me how the fertilisation of my eggs was coming along. I'm warning you now, this was a bad day.
Apparently my eggs had already started to show cells dividing; I'm sure that you think, as I also thought - "Well that's great news, right?" Wrong. It was then explained to me that this doesn't normally happen until day 2, if it happens on day 1 then often it means that they are abnormal or unlikely to get to the stage where they are able to be frozen. So in summary, I potentially would have zero embryos in their giant freezer. Needless to say, many tears were shed that day. The clinic said they would 'sit' on my embryos for a few days before discarding them, just in case. That's nice of them, isn't it?

Thursday
Another phone-call today, for someone who hates talking on the phone this week has been particularly taxing! During this particular call I was informed that four of my eight embryos actually appeared to be doing what they were meant to (finally!) and two of them looked very likely to be able to be frozen on day 5. Now I know that doesn't sound like many but as I was expecting to be told that they'd all have to be disposed of this was good news. No tears were shed this day, which was pretty good as the crying stuff was starting to make me a bit dehydrated if I'm honest.

Today 
Apologies for the long story, it's coming to an end I promise! Today I received a final phone-call letting me know that out of the four promising-ish embryos, they were able to freeze two. I feel like I should be highly disappointed about this outcome but weirdly I feel super relieved that it's over and I have anything in the freezer at all. That's enough embryos for one transfer cycle, so for now that's enough. I may not need them at all (which would be amazing) but they are there just in case. If it's meant to be it will happen, right?

There ends my fertility clinic journey (hopefully forever, but who knows?) next step - chemotherapy. It just keeps getting better and better! My first dose is scheduled for the 19th April, so a week on Wednesday. Again, instead of being worried I've surprised myself by just being relieved that's it's starting. The quicker it starts then the quicker it ends and I for one cannot wait to see what I look like with a shiny, bald head. That's a joke, I'm currently having daily pep talks with my hair and begging it not to leave me!

So in summary, I would make a terrible chicken. In fact, I probably would be the kind of chicken that graces your dinner table rather than sits there laying eggs. Lucky old me!

Tune in next time for the not depressing at all update about chemotherapy. I promise to be cheerful if you promise to read it. Deal?

Love, Meg xx

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All about the eggs.

So, it's been a while...

Hello again blog readers! Firstly I would like to apologise for not posting for a little while; I am loving this whole blog thing but unfortunately I didn't have any particularly juicy updates for you (I will explain why a little bit later). I wasn't sure people wanted to hear about my general day, which would have included highlights such as "Today I treated myself to a bath instead of a shower - crazy times!" and "The train to work was slightly quieter today meaning I got a seat - I am winning!". So I thought I'd save you from reading delightful tidbits like those. This time I actually have news, so read on blog fans!

Now before I update you on the truly fascinating world of cancer treatment I need to tell you about something bloody fantastic that happened on Friday - my amazing sister gave birth to a little boy! I now have a nephew! Introducing baby Rory:

There he is, isn't he cute? There I am too, but let's just ignore my pale and pasty face shall we? I'm posting this because a) I'm super excited and proud of my sister and her husband and b) he is now my reminder that, despite cancer's best efforts, life still goes on. There's no point having my life on pause because it means that I miss out on amazing things like this. So yeah, I'm a pretty proud Auntie right now.

OK so back to the whole cancer thing. Before I go on I just want to put a little disclaimer: if you are a person who is anyway offended/disgusted by anyone discussing a woman's period then I recommend that you skip the next paragraph as that is what I will be talking about. You will know that the person I am describing is you if you found yourself wincing when you read the word "period". Do yourself a favour, skip the next bit.

There is a reason I'm talking about my monthly "gift" (I'm not just a weirdo who drops it into conversation, OK?) - when I last posted I was waiting to start my pre-chemo fertility treatment and egg harvesting; waiting is the important word here, I had all the medication and had to start this on the second day of my period. Apparently my body heard this and thought "we've already given her the stress of cancer, now let's be extra-special jerks and make her wait two extra weeks for her period". That happened, thanks uterus. Fast forward through major stresses (including a freak out at work; huge thank you to my fellow Midwives for calming me down that day and I'm very very sorry!) and it has finally come. If 'my period was late but now it's here' parties aren't a thing then they bloody well should be.

If you skipped that paragraph then a big welcome back to the stress that is my life. So now here I am, day six of my daily injections -lucky me, right? Today I had a scan which found that things are progressing nicely and as to be expected (I'm sure nobody wants the ins and outs of what exactly is happening with my ovaries, if you do then feel free to message me and I will give you a blow-by-blow account of fertility treatment) So this evening I started a second injection that goes with the first. Yay! Before all this I often hoped I would be injecting myself twice daily; now all my wishes have come true! Next comes a scan every other day until they determine that my eggs are ready to be "harvested"; tune in for that installment, it will be thrilling! I have to give a big shout-out to anyone who has ever gone through all this fertility treatment without complaining publicly; kudos to every one of you ladies, you are awesome and should be mighty proud of yourselves. For myself, I just can't wait for it to be over; although over means that chemo begins so maybe I'll just stay in fertility land forever? There's babies and stuff, it's pretty nice here.

Tah dah! That's my life so far. I hoped you enjoyed reading my update and would like to continue on my journey with me. I would really appreciate it if you did; it's nice to know there's people out there reading my terrible attempts at humour and (hopefully) chuckling to themselves a little bit. That's enough for me!

Also, I can't end this update without naming a very lovely man called Keith who works at Mount Vernon. This genuine beaut of a man stepped up and re-arranged my chemo dates for me (I had to push them back due to the whole period debacle) without a single complaint. If you ever need chemo, and from the bottom of my soul I wish that none of you ever do, then I hope he is the man you deal with. I think I love him a little bit. Thanks awesome Keith from Mount Vernon.

So, most important thing to remember from this update is this: fun Auntie Meg has a new nephew! Oh and there was that stuff about fertility, but just look at his face one more time - isn't he lovely?

Peace out blog fans.

Love, Meg xx

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The Next Cancer Chapter

Larry has gone but he's not quite finished yet...

Hello again! Thought I'd post a little update as today I had an appointment with the oncology team; in case you are staring blankly at the word "oncology" - these are the people that deal with the treatment of cancer, meaning that they are the team that I discuss my upcoming chemo/radiotherapy/medication with. No surprise to hear that it is all going ahead as we were previously told - so stay tuned folks, still to come we have:

1. The story of the fertility clinic - including hormone injections and egg harvesting.

2. The chronicle of a cancer patient having a PICC line inserted - don't know what this is? Just enjoy the fact that you don't know and accept that if you see me after this event then I will fully enjoy showing it to you. My little friend for the next four and a half months.

3. The drama of chemotherapy at Mount Vernon - this place sounds like it should be some kind of theme park, right? Unfortunately there are no roller coasters here, just a whole load of people receiving cancer treatment.

4. The wonder of the wig - if I go bald expect a vast array of wigs (if I can afford them), I'm totally looking forward to buying the afro one I have imagined. Look out world!

5. The recital of radiotherapy - I have nothing to say about this one. It is what it is for three and a half weeks.

6. The chronicle of ten years of daily medication - no I haven't made a typo. Ten years! I barely plan the next few weeks of my life, let alone the next ten years; but now I know it will involve medication. Yay me! Don't worry though, I won't be blogging every day for ten years - I don't expect anyone to stay with me for daily installments of "I took my tablets today".

So that's still to come. I bet you all can't wait - I know I can't!

In the meantime I want to tell you that on Monday I went back to work. And I hated it. Mainly because my boss (out of respect for my confidentiality, which I completely understand) didn't tell anyone that I was off due to having cancer. This in turn meant that the lovely, unknowing people that I work with had absolutely no idea; so when I mentioned things like my upcoming chemo I wasn't expecting to see so many shocked faces. Having to explain that you have cancer a lot of times to a lot of people in one day is truly exhausting. So yay to normal life, boo to discussing cancer at least ten times a shift. I'm back in again tomorrow with different colleagues so I've got to do it all over again. Wish me luck. Also, side note, if anyone is reading this who is rich, I'm more than happy for you to sponsor me so that I don't have to return to work until this is all over - by over I mean the end of radiotherapy, I don't expect ten years worth of sponsoring. Although if you're offering, I'm not one to turn that down.

Finally, I can't end this without saying a big hello to anyone who is reading this because I put it on Facebook or due to my very talented brother's shout-out on his You Tube channel. If you are also one of those amazing people who liked or commented on my original Facebook post last week then a HUGE thank you to you. I was terrified about announcing I had cancer and appearing super "needy"; everyone who liked/commented/messaged is a superstar and I am incredibly grateful. Even if you didn't do that, even if you simply read it and thought "that's pretty good that she's doing that" then you too qualify as a superstar. So thank you.

Stay tuned for the next installment!

Love, Meg xx

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