Let's talk about eggs (a bit more), baby... Oh and feelings.

Surprise blog post!

Now, I am fully aware that in my last post I told you all that you would next hear from me after my first chemotherapy treatment on Wednesday. But fear not blog team - I haven't gone mad or got addicted to posting (just yet), there is a point to this extra edition I promise. This post is a two part-er: the first part is an important addition that I forgot to mention last time, the second part is me using you all as my counselling method. Apologies in advance about that, just a warning that there may be a discussion around 'feelings'. Yuck. I won't be upset if you just read the first part, OK?

Part One

Following the last post my very supportive and lovely fiance, Warren, informed me that I had not mentioned his side of the whole egg harvesting day. He would like you all to know about his experience of being the other half of our awesome embryo-creating duo. So here goes. Don't worry though, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail - unless you want me to? In that case please message me, you total weirdo.

So after I had returned from my brilliant nap in theatre, Warren was then taken off to what the staff actually called the "little boys' room". I'm not making it up, they actually referred to it as that. Weird right? He was then given a pot and told to "do his thang" (they didn't say that, although I really wish they had). He did just that, gave them the pot back and now here we are.

Right now, I can imagine you all thinking that you really wish you could see what the "little boys' room" looked like. Am I right? Well, lucky for you people, Warren actually took it upon himself to take a photo to show you all. Prepare yourselves for something truly epic:

Yes! That is it! Please make sure you have fully admired the pad on the chair (just in case of spillage) and the who-knows-how-old magazines. Unfortunately I can't post the photo of the TV that he sent me as some options on it were a bit rudey and graphic, but please believe me that they cater for everyone - does Eastenders turn you on? Or maybe Neighbours? Well that's good because they've given you BBC iPlayer and Demand5 (along with a vast array of X-rated content I might add), what a truly weird world. Warren, when you read this, I hope you think that I did your experience justice; I tried to be super serious but it's hard when you send me photos like that!

So that concludes part one and both our experiences of the fertility clinic; I hope that all the men out there never have to sit in a glorified cupboard and produce a sample, but if you have to then I hope that you also have the joy of BBC iPlayer. It's the least I can do.

Part Two

Switch off now if you don't like feelings! You have been warned!

This evening I felt compelled to write a blog post as a way of getting my head straight; it feels like I'm standing on a ledge right now and when I step off I'll never be able to go back. That sounds overly dramatic and not like me at all, but it's how I'm feeling this evening. By starting chemotherapy (not that I have a choice) I feel like I am saying goodbye to many things; there's the replaceable things like my hair and my social life of course, but then there's also the possibility of losing irreplaceable things like my fertility which is very important to me. Long term there's also the fact that I'm fully aware that having cancer at the age of 27 means that there's the possibility it could come back at any point in my life and I have to go through all this again. Which at the moment is something I can't even think about.

So there you have it, that is my mood this evening. I have to say that when I write it all down I'm aware that it makes me sound incredibly whiny and needy, so I'm sorry about that. Reading it back has also made me decide to stop feeling sorry for myself so there will be no more discussions of feelings. It also helps that I'm watching The Little Mermaid as I write this; I've never watched that movie and felt sad, I highly recommend it as a pick me up.

Tomorrow is my PICC line insertion day and then Wednesday is chemotherapy day; I don't want to go into too much detail about those here as a) I don't really want to think about them right now and b) if I tell you now then I won't have anything to write about later, will I? So tune in next time for a summary of those epic appointments. I promise I will have cheered up by then; I bloody hope so anyway, if not I will be having a Disney movie marathon and a stern talk with myself.

Love Meg xx

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All about the eggs.

So, it's been a while...

Hello again blog readers! Firstly I would like to apologise for not posting for a little while; I am loving this whole blog thing but unfortunately I didn't have any particularly juicy updates for you (I will explain why a little bit later). I wasn't sure people wanted to hear about my general day, which would have included highlights such as "Today I treated myself to a bath instead of a shower - crazy times!" and "The train to work was slightly quieter today meaning I got a seat - I am winning!". So I thought I'd save you from reading delightful tidbits like those. This time I actually have news, so read on blog fans!

Now before I update you on the truly fascinating world of cancer treatment I need to tell you about something bloody fantastic that happened on Friday - my amazing sister gave birth to a little boy! I now have a nephew! Introducing baby Rory:

There he is, isn't he cute? There I am too, but let's just ignore my pale and pasty face shall we? I'm posting this because a) I'm super excited and proud of my sister and her husband and b) he is now my reminder that, despite cancer's best efforts, life still goes on. There's no point having my life on pause because it means that I miss out on amazing things like this. So yeah, I'm a pretty proud Auntie right now.

OK so back to the whole cancer thing. Before I go on I just want to put a little disclaimer: if you are a person who is anyway offended/disgusted by anyone discussing a woman's period then I recommend that you skip the next paragraph as that is what I will be talking about. You will know that the person I am describing is you if you found yourself wincing when you read the word "period". Do yourself a favour, skip the next bit.

There is a reason I'm talking about my monthly "gift" (I'm not just a weirdo who drops it into conversation, OK?) - when I last posted I was waiting to start my pre-chemo fertility treatment and egg harvesting; waiting is the important word here, I had all the medication and had to start this on the second day of my period. Apparently my body heard this and thought "we've already given her the stress of cancer, now let's be extra-special jerks and make her wait two extra weeks for her period". That happened, thanks uterus. Fast forward through major stresses (including a freak out at work; huge thank you to my fellow Midwives for calming me down that day and I'm very very sorry!) and it has finally come. If 'my period was late but now it's here' parties aren't a thing then they bloody well should be.

If you skipped that paragraph then a big welcome back to the stress that is my life. So now here I am, day six of my daily injections -lucky me, right? Today I had a scan which found that things are progressing nicely and as to be expected (I'm sure nobody wants the ins and outs of what exactly is happening with my ovaries, if you do then feel free to message me and I will give you a blow-by-blow account of fertility treatment) So this evening I started a second injection that goes with the first. Yay! Before all this I often hoped I would be injecting myself twice daily; now all my wishes have come true! Next comes a scan every other day until they determine that my eggs are ready to be "harvested"; tune in for that installment, it will be thrilling! I have to give a big shout-out to anyone who has ever gone through all this fertility treatment without complaining publicly; kudos to every one of you ladies, you are awesome and should be mighty proud of yourselves. For myself, I just can't wait for it to be over; although over means that chemo begins so maybe I'll just stay in fertility land forever? There's babies and stuff, it's pretty nice here.

Tah dah! That's my life so far. I hoped you enjoyed reading my update and would like to continue on my journey with me. I would really appreciate it if you did; it's nice to know there's people out there reading my terrible attempts at humour and (hopefully) chuckling to themselves a little bit. That's enough for me!

Also, I can't end this update without naming a very lovely man called Keith who works at Mount Vernon. This genuine beaut of a man stepped up and re-arranged my chemo dates for me (I had to push them back due to the whole period debacle) without a single complaint. If you ever need chemo, and from the bottom of my soul I wish that none of you ever do, then I hope he is the man you deal with. I think I love him a little bit. Thanks awesome Keith from Mount Vernon.

So, most important thing to remember from this update is this: fun Auntie Meg has a new nephew! Oh and there was that stuff about fertility, but just look at his face one more time - isn't he lovely?

Peace out blog fans.

Love, Meg xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every now and then kinda gal.