Hair we go.

Update time!

Hello again everyone! I have a few updates in the life of chemo-Meg to get through, I bet none of you can wait! If chemo-Meg was a superhero I feel like her superpowers would probably be the ability to take epic naps, complain about how sick she feels, and messy cry a lot; if Marvel are interested then I'm definitely open to negotiations on that one. But I digress, let's get started then shall we? This probably needs to be a type of 'update sandwich'; I'll tell you one thing good, then all the bad, and then end with something awesome. All aboard the emotional roller-coaster that is my life right now, are you all strapped in? Let's get on it...

Let's start with the promised one thing good: I just want to let you all know that I am feeling much better, I wholeheartedly thank the chemo fairies (and whoever else that was involved) for that. The first week was hell, the second week was better and by the third week I had almost forgotten that I was a chemotherapy patient. During that last week I even managed to get my butt to work for one shift - I am super proud of myself for that. So that's the good.

Now for the bad, there are a few things to discuss so get yourselves mentally prepared. Take a deep breath. Ready? Here goes, there's three bad updates and I've numbered them so that you know when we're nearly at the final, awesome update:

1. Today I rocked up for my next chemotherapy dose as planned, when I arrived I was informed that they needed to repeat a blood test (my full blood count for all my fellow healthcare workers out there - hello to you!) because my white cell count (the part of your blood that fights off infection for all of my non-healthcare workers out there - hello to you also!) was borderline. Twenty minutes after the blood was taken (which for the NHS is absomalutely amazing) I was told that the result had come back even lower than before which meant that my consultant needed to make a decision; to chemo or not to chemo. Unfortunately he called them back and decided it was a not to chemo situation - this means that I have been pushed back to next week; I have another blood test on Monday and if all is well my next chemo will be Wednesday. Because of this all subsequent chemo doses are also pushed back by a week, so as you can probably imagine I am super thrilled about this (if you aren't great at sarcasm then just know that I am definitely not super thrilled about it). So that's that. If I could contact my white blood cells then I assure you that I would give them a firm talking to until they sorted themselves out. For everyone out there with a cough, cold or sniffle (or anything more serious) please leave me alone for now; it's not that I don't like you (although I can't guarantee that) I just don't want to catch it. Apologies.
2. This update is possibly the most depressing, sorry about that. On Saturday I had a shower (that's not the update, I shower/bathe often I promise) during this shower I found it strange that I had to remove my hair from the plug three times because the water wasn't draining. Since I noticed that it has been a massive free-for-all on my scalp; it turns out that my hair severely dislikes me and has been waiting for an excuse to leave. So here I sit now and I think that if I lose any more hair I will unfortunately become the female Bill Bailey - that's not even a joke, unfortunately. Because of this total lack of loyalty shown by my hair I have booked an appointment with my hairdresser tomorrow to get it cut short. I'm talking full-on boy short; mainly because of the Bill Bailey look, but also because my scalp is hurting constantly (think sunburn-type pain or if you've ever had your hair tied up for way too long discomfort-type pain) and I would like it to stop, please. So wish me luck. Also if you read this and see me in person in the future then please do me a favour and don't mention my lack of hair; losing my hair is incredibly stressful and I would rather just pretend that I never had hair and that I've always looked this way. OK? Thanks.
3. Many of you may have heard that you lose weight during chemotherapy, I also heard this. I just want to tell you now that it is all lies. Absolutely 100% not true. As a result I am now on a diet/exercise plan as I have a wedding that I need to slim down for - THIS IS THE MOST DEPRESSING UPDATE OF ALL. Chemotherapy and a diet? Life is pretty sucky right now. So don't believe the hype everyone, chemotherapy basically sucks. The end.

You will be pleased to know that the bad is now over. Take all the time you need to collect yourselves, I'll still be here don't you worry. Go and have a cup of tea, take a nap, have a vodka and watch a Disney movie - those are my plans anyway.

So now for the awesome; as mentioned at the beginning I went back to work on Friday for the first time post-chemo. I was a little bit nervous about going back but I have to say that I have never in my life been surrounded by so much love, support and care. A big shout-out to my work mummy Elsa (who I'm not sure if she reads this but one day she might) who organised a card and collection for me. I go through my life convinced that I am not really good enough to be noticed, so to read the amount of love people wrote in those cards actually made me feel incredibly special (if I'm allowed to admit that) and also allowed me to have a very happy, messy cry. So thank you to any of my colleagues that are reading this, I genuinely love you right now.

And now we have reached the end of this update. Tomorrow I am off to try on some wigs, an appointment that I am weirdly dreading. Wish me luck!

Until next time, blog fans.

Love, Meg xx

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