The moment we've all been waiting for.

Good news!

Today I had my follow up appointment at the clinic and received the news we've all been waiting for (*spoiler alert* it's bloody awesome news):

LARRY HAS WELL AND TRULY SODDED OFF! ACTUALLY WELL. AND. TRULY.

I'm writing that in capitals because I would really love to shout it, in fact I might do just that. Goodbye Larry! Ciao! Adiós! Arrivederci! Auf wiedersehen! Sayonara! Aloha (the goodbye version of aloha obviously) - and don't come back! Big thanks to Google translate for those.

Plus, remember those pesky lymph nodes? I personally remember as thanks to those bad boys I am rocking two beautiful scars instead of one. Well, it appears that they disliked Larry too and declined his invite to the cancer party. That's right! No cancer in my lymph nodes, which means at this exact moment in time (and hopefully forevermore) I am cancer free.

Now, before you all rush round my house and throw me a big surprise party (which you're totally welcome to do - just not tonight, I'm busy tonight) there is a little bit extra to inform you all; they have decided that because I am a 27 year old, (reasonably) healthy woman with minimal family history it is still recommended that I have chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Which means I need to go down the whole fertility clinic, egg harvesting thing first too. So we're not out of the woods yet team, I'm still playing (and winning) cancer treatment bingo, and I for one cannot wait for my prize - in fact, if it's that I come out the other end with all my hair still on my head then that is enough for me! Not my leg hair though, I could do without shaving for a while.

In summary - lots of yay, some meh. As Bon Jovi very eloquently put it:

"Hey, man, I'm alive. I'm takin' each day and night at a time...

...I'm feeling like a Monday but someday I'll be Saturday night."

I hope you all are feeling the Saturday night vibes though, hopefully I'll be joining you soon.

Love, Meg xx

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So long Larry...

I'm back!

Hey all, just a little one today to let you all know that I am now Larry-free. I'm very tired and sore so not sure this post will be all that entertaining (sorry about that) but I just wanted to update you all. I came home Tuesday morning and have been resting and inhaling pain relief since then, but today seems to be a much better day - so fingers crossed!

Also *unflattering photo alert* - here's the evolution of my hospital journey. Ready? Here it is:

To summarise, from top left is my admission and then just changed into my gown. From bottom left is me just out of surgery (I know right? Who takes a selfie just out of surgery? Apparently doped up me does!) and then the first night post op. I promise you I look a lot better than that now. Well, a lot is somewhat stretching it - I look a little better.

Anyway I've decided that I'm going to take each positive as it comes. Here's my list so far:

1. Larry has gone. This is the most important one!

2. Yesterday I successfully washed my hair - it took about 10 hours and 100 swear words but hey, I did it.

3. I'm having to wear my sports bra to support my holey boob so in my head that means that every time I walk anywhere around the house I'm technically exercising. Right? Right.

4. I'm allowed to wear my slobby clothes all day and nobody is allowed to say anything about it.

So yeah, that's my list so far. I'm sure I'll be adding to it as the days go on but it's enough for now. A huge thank you for all your support, me and my sore boob thank you enormously. Plus a big shout-out to possibly the world's best fiance Warren, who has become my personal slave - I've not even heard so much as a tut when I ask him to do a task for me. I wonder how long I'll get away with that for? 2 years? I hope so!

Next for me is my appointment on Wednesday when I will find out whether or not Larry managed to party with my lymph nodes (and therefore possibly other places in my body). Let's hope not, although maybe he did because he was a massive prick, wasn't he? I'm glad he's gone. Tosser.

Love, Meg xx

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Just a quickie (pahahaha quickie!)

And it's goodbye from him...

I couldn't let this evening pass without allowing Larry to say a final farewell to you all; tomorrow is operation day and therefore the day that we will go our separate ways. Larry - or Lazza, arsehole, Lumpy McBoob, he has been dubbed many names along the way - and I have gone through an emotional roller-coaster these past forty three days (I say we - I'm pretty sure a cancerous lump doesn't have any emotions but go with it, OK?) but I have to say I'm pretty happy that he's leaving.

Tomorrow I am being injected with radioactive dye in the morning (so they can scan me and establish which lymph nodes they need to remove and test for cancer) then the big operation is in the afternoon, followed by an overnight stay and finally I'll be home and Larry free! Although a small part of me will miss our (very much one-sided) chats, I guess I'll just have to name a body part and talk to that instead - how does Norman the knee sound?

So, I guess I'll see you all on the other side! Wish me luck!

Love, Meg and (for the final time) Larry xx

P.S. I totally have shaved my legs and painted my toenails for this operation. Who does that? I just hope someone in the operating theatre thinks to themselves "Wow, her toenails are awesome and her legs are so smooth!" Then at least it wasn't all for nothing...

P.P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.

Countdown to Larry's eviction...

Update time!

Hey everyone! Today I am excited to inform you that I actually have an update for you all, rather than my previous posts where I appear to be rating specific hospital tests (if you've missed that then I would give ultrasound/biopsy/mammogram day 8/10, blood test day 10/10 and MRI day 6/10. Not bad,eh?) But no! Today is an update day! Woop!

But first you are going to have to bear with me as some thank yous are in order, obviously on top of the general thank yous to everyone that has reached out to me, sent me kind words, prayed for me - those kind of go without saying as I appreciate every single one of you. The specific huge thank yous I need to give today go to two groups of people: first (and I'm totally going to name drop you all because you deserve it) Alex, Sayers, Whits, Gav, Iyad, Jack, Joe, Kev, Loz, Lee, Mart, Paul, Pete, Ryan, Soud, Sounir and Vod - who all chipped in to pay for me and Warren to stay at a mighty posh hotel/spa/golf place on a date of our choosing. Thank you! You are all so very lovely! The second group of people are (again, totally naming you all) Lynzy, Jodee, Nina, Amy, Kate and Faye - this group gave me the most thoughtful gift I think I have ever received. You ladies are beyond awesome, there isn't a word to express how much it meant to me. See the picture below:

Yup, I know! Told you it was amazing!

Ok so that's the thank yous done, now for the big update: LARRY IS IN FACT AN ACTUAL LARRY LONER! He has failed to make any extra lumpy friends to play with - I mean it's not a massive shock as we all know he's an arsehole - and that means I only have to have lump removal surgery; goodbye any thoughts of one-boob-Meg, hello normal Meg! Although one not-so-great update is that they are pretty sure I'm having chemotherapy/radiotherapy (basically I'm totally winning cancer treatment bingo) as I am 27 with grade 3 - a.k.a. bloody speedy growing - cancer, so I get the impression they are throwing everything at me to make sure Larry has well and truly sodded off. Bring it on! I've always wondered what I'd look like bald... Guess now I'll know. Bald but alive - I'll take that.

Just waiting for a little visit to the fertility clinic to have my eggs harvested (awesome, right?) and genetic testing to work out if I have a cancer gene; like I said, I'm totally winning cancer treatment bingo.

So bring on Monday - the big radioactive dye injecting, general anaesthetic lump removing bitch of a day. Yup, I said bitch. Deal with it. Wish me luck!

Peace out, blog fans!

Love, Meg and (soon to be evicted) Larry xx

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M.R.I am awesome.

Toothpaste day!

Thought I'd post an update for those of you that are still with me - if you are then thank you very muchly - today was the dreaded MRI day. I say dreaded because I see myself as one of those people with mild claustrophobia.

Well that's not strictly true, I'm going to tell you something that until now I haven't mentioned to many people; my fear isn't actually small spaces. Oh no team, my fear is particularly embarrassing. Prepare yourselves for this.

My fear is that I am stuck somewhere, like an MRI machine, when a terrible event occurs and everyone except me dies or disappears - leaving me stuck wherever I am and then I slowly succumb and die. Yup, I know, it's random but true and one of the many reasons why I was terrible at hide and seek as a child (you know, in case I got stuck in that wardrobe forever), makes sense right? Wrong. I am aware this may be one of the most unlikely events to ever happen but I cannot shut that little voice up in my head whenever I'm in an enclosed space; thanks for that, brain.

In view of this, I was particularly nervous when I arrived at Watford General this morning, this was made even worse by the two hours I then waited to be seen (due to two sick small children needing urgent MRIs - I hold no anger at the staff but it really didn't help). Then all gowned up with a cannula in place, for the MRI contrast agent they were going to pump into my veins, I was ready to go.

Side note - I honestly thought that I would be magnetic for a while and had visions of being able to control many metallic items nearby, pretty much like Magneto; sadly this is not what happens, all that did actually happen was that I felt sick for a little while. Joy.

The actual MRI was pretty OK, although I felt like I cheated a little bit as - completely unknown to me - when they do a breast/chest MRI you actually lie on your front and put your face in a ring (if you've ever had a massage it's pretty much the same thing) then they push you into the MRI head first. This meant that I couldn't actually see the tiny tube I was stuck in for the next 20-30 minutes, which was actually awesome. The only thing that wasn't great was THE NOISE. I would have loved a heads up that one of the noises an MRI machine makes sounds like it is actually alarming, like a really loud booming alarm. Apparently this is normal and not, like I thought the first time I heard it, an alarm that means the machine is malfunctioning and your death is pretty imminent. If you ever go for an MRI please remember that one thing - that booming, earth-shattering alarm noise is normal. You're welcome, future MRI-ers.

So yeah, that was that. My very specific, previously mentioned fear was kept at bay by me deciding that if the machine was making noise it meant somebody in the other room was pressing a button; this meant at least one person was still alive. If you have anything to do with MRIs and you know that there isn't a button that needs to be held down for it to work, please don't tell me. It's the only thing that stopped me pushing the panic button they very nicely placed in my hand. Proud of myself doesn't even cover it.

Next Wednesday is the big results day, wish me luck! It's basically when they will tell me whether we're going for lump removal surgery or the whole one-boob-Meg mastectomy. What a day to look forward to, eh? Also, if I do have a mastectomy and you actually call me one-boob-Meg I warn you now that I will definitely punch you, hard. And you will deserve it.

Peace out, blog fans.

Love, Meg and Larry xx

P.S. Liking my story? Why not follow or subscribe by email below? I promise I won't bombard you with lots of blog posts, I'm strictly a every few weeks kinda gal.